Two

photo-1415045550139-59b6fafc832fToday is the two year anniversary of my Dad’s death. His deathiversary.

I’m not sure what I want to say about it, but I can’t let it slip by without acknowledging it is here, it is happening. Just a reminder that he isn’t with us and it’s because of this one, single day. His cancer diagnoses changed our world. This day blew it apart.

I still think of Dad when I need to make a decision. When I see other grandparents doing fun things with their grandkids. When I want to buy a new gadget. When I’m planning a vacation. When I do something good. When the kids do something good. Honestly, it doesn’t hurt so much all the time now. The grief. Instead it sneaks up on me randomly, and the pain is quick and sharp and then gone again until the next reminder.

During one of his last days, Dad and I had a conversation that pushed me to get serious about chasing a particular dream. Today I am in NYC for a writing conference. It doesn’t feel like a coincidence that this big milestone is happening on the exact anniversary of his death. It feels like it is meant to be. Today, while my thoughts are on both the past and the future, he has a hand on me. Guiding me, steadying me, supporting me. Today it doesn’t feel like Heaven is so far away. And for that, I’m grateful.

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4 thoughts on “Two

  1. Ben says:

    I love you and I am amazed at your perspective! Yes, your dad is watching over you today as always, but also relishing the step you are taking. Greg is missed every day.

  2. Elizabeth Favell says:

    I was thinking of him today. I will always think of him around Valentine’s Day since it is so close to “the” day. Also every time I go in to turn our tax stuff in, it just seems weird. There is a big hole in my heart for him. He is missed Liz!

  3. Cathy Leonard says:

    I can’t name the times I think of Greg. I look out my front door and look down the street and it still seems he should be there with your mom too. I remember him grilling and he and your mom having us all for a lovely dinner party in the courtyard. So many “friend memories”. Yes, our world misses your Dad too Liz. He would be so proud of you attending your writing conference. Soldier on girl!

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