Today is the two year anniversary of my Dad’s death. His deathiversary.
I’m not sure what I want to say about it, but I can’t let it slip by without acknowledging it is here, it is happening. Just a reminder that he isn’t with us and it’s because of this one, single day. His cancer diagnoses changed our world. This day blew it apart.
I still think of Dad when I need to make a decision. When I see other grandparents doing fun things with their grandkids. When I want to buy a new gadget. When I’m planning a vacation. When I do something good. When the kids do something good. Honestly, it doesn’t hurt so much all the time now. The grief. Instead it sneaks up on me randomly, and the pain is quick and sharp and then gone again until the next reminder.
During one of his last days, Dad and I had a conversation that pushed me to get serious about chasing a particular dream. Today I am in NYC for a writing conference. It doesn’t feel like a coincidence that this big milestone is happening on the exact anniversary of his death. It feels like it is meant to be. Today, while my thoughts are on both the past and the future, he has a hand on me. Guiding me, steadying me, supporting me. Today it doesn’t feel like Heaven is so far away. And for that, I’m grateful.